Hi darling, I'm so happy you chimed in 𑣲⋆
Let's figure this out together shall we...
If I may ask, what was the reason for the breakup in the first place? I'm sure you've had your fair share of contemplating this very question, but truly look at it objectively: what caused the split? Was it mutual or did it lean towards one person's decision. Find why you feel the way you do now. Was it due to recent events like running into them or something reminded you of them. What does a soulmate mean to you? Narrow down into these questions to help yourself better understand the situation.
*In the way that you feel right now, how much do you think it is being reciprocated?
Compare the reasons for your uncertainty to the longing you feel for them. You ended with 'idk' which makes me wonder, what is holding you back. It's important to find out why we hesitate on certain things. It can reveal our values or fears in life. Why we act or think the way we do. Sometimes you may get anxious and feel the need to go to that person, especially if they were your 'safe space'. It can be hard to ignore the urge to go to them, which is why it is important to have other people in your life you can rely on. If any of your friends know about your ex and has known you throughout the relationship, ask for their outside perspective.
If the relationship ended on good terms, why did it so? If you felt liberated, I would focus on continuing to explore your independent journey before reopening old wounds. However, if you feel that lingering curiosity, ask yourself if there were things left unsaid, whether it be "good" or "bad". Are you seeking clarity or familiar reunion. Could this possibly be due to any regrets. If there are, I think it is very helpful to be able to separate issues that can be solved and ones that are better to let go.
If the relationship ended on bad terms, what made it feel so "bad"? If you were to go back to them, are you bending any values or morals of yours? Do you have to change yourself, not in the compromising and improving way, but the diminishing kind? It's like being bit by a snake, then going back to ask why the snake bit you, rather than allowing yourself to heal. If you rekindle, will this start a harmful cycle?
Are you willing to set aside your expectations for the real thing. What is missing, what do you need from them, what worked?
It can be helpful to see what dynamic works for you to understand the shortcomings. It is also important to notice the moments and details that made you fall in love with that person. What little things opened your eyes. What you appreciated. What you miss.
I apologize if I am asking a lot of questions rather than straightforward 'advice', but everyone's experience is so vastly different that I cannot offer you the most accurate analysis/remedy. What I know is unfortunately limited. However, what I can do is get you to rethink these (possibly invasive) questions. Even if you can't fully answer them, take notice to how you feel facing these questions. Oftentimes action (+ emotion) speaks louder than words.
Love is a tricky thing and there's never the right answer. I just want you to know that it is perfectly okay to feel this way, especially if you really feel that you've found the one. Only you know exactly how you feel, so do whatever feels best. You may get hurt, you may never turn back, but that is for you to see for yourself. It's okay if your love isn't perfect. From what it seems, you really care for this person and want to try again. I say go for it, as long as you aren't indulging in bad habits, you'll never know until you try right? Time will pass anyway and I'd rather spend it trying than living in regret of 'what-ifs'.
Trust that gut feeling because deep down, the answer is already there. You just have to find it.
I hope this was helpful!
If you have any more concerns or questions you know where to find me ;).
with love,
fleurjacque at your service ｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡
p.s. i recommend watching love rosie, 500 days of summer, before sunrise, before sunset, and listen to crush by ethel cain <3
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